Why Passive Aggression Must Exist

Some of us are passive aggressive because as children, we lost our voice. There are very few parents who allow their children to confront them with questions, feelings or problems.....all wind up being filed under the infamous catch-all we call "back talk". If we talk back to our parents, the punishment can be devastating and... Continue Reading →

Why Adult Trauma Might Be So Unbearable

It's not so much adult trauma that shapes us. The traumas that shape our lives and rule us from the shadows come from repressed childhood trauma. The reason adult trauma might have such an impact might be because it's causing the forgotten childhood trauma up to the surface through emotional flashbacks. Anytime we have a... Continue Reading →

Questioning “The High Road”

Love your enemies Love people from a distance Forgive your enemies Why are we often asking each other to be false? We have this notion that being nice to people we don't like is the high road or a sign of maturity. If you genuinely feel this way toward your enemies and you're not deceiving... Continue Reading →

Spirituality | A Balancing Act

I think there is such thing as ungrounded spiritual beliefs as there is such thing as beliefs being too spiritually materialistic and overly logical. In a black and white all or nothing world, I think the truth is often in the middle. Maybe we cannot learn unless we explore both extremes and check out each... Continue Reading →

We Really Do Need Love

"For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that "unless you love yourself, no one else will love you." ...The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation." ~Bruce D. Perry, M.D.,... Continue Reading →

When Our Wounds are Too Hard to Bear

....or remember...... When we are being abused as children, if the abuse is severe enough, we might leave the body and temporarily go off into another dimension. This might help us survive the abuse so that we can function in the world afterward. Our coping strategies serve us as children, but as adults these dissociative... Continue Reading →

The Eye of Our (Wounds)Storm

For the cathartic emotional release aspect of our healing journey, we might find that we start out emoting outside the "eye of the storm" from the grieving adult perspective. In other words, we might only be able to feel "around the pain" from the adult-self and this might last for a while until we feel... Continue Reading →

Is It Bad to Wish Pain on Our Abusers?

I used to be concerned with being spiritual back in 2014 when I started dipping my feet into popular spirituality, but over the last few years, my main concern is centered on being authentic. That is going to include (expressed in a safe environment) all of my authentic violent blood-red rage, anger, shame, sadness, terror,... Continue Reading →

Wondering if Perception Even Exists

We have likes and dislikes. But in a world where we are conditioned to believe that truth does not exist --- that there is only perception, I theorize that maybe it's the opposite. Maybe there are no perspectives or seeing things differently. With regard to absolute Truth, maybe there is only the Truth and untruths.... Continue Reading →

Taking Things Personally

Just like anyone else, I sometimes take it personally when someone takes something personally. But is it something to shame others for? Should we shame ourselves over it? I have been writing on this topic for some time and I have been thinking that maybe we are not making mistakes by taking things personally. I... Continue Reading →

A possible reason for some adult trauma?

​ ​FOR THOSE ON THE HEALING JOURNEY: We might start doing the healing work addressing childhood trauma only after an adult trauma takes place. Why must adult trauma happen? Haven't we been through enough BS in our childhoods? So many of us are not doing the nose-to-the-grindstone grueling blood sweat and tears work of healing... Continue Reading →

The Physical and Spiritual Aspect of Trauma

The physical and non-physical (spiritual) aspect of trauma that very few discuss.... With trauma, there is both a physical-worldly aspect and a spiritual aspect. We might either solely focus on the physical and get overwhelmed to the point where we are often outside the "window of tolerance" (the window that allows us to feel our... Continue Reading →

My Own Mocha Solution

I make a MEAN mocha shake! :-D I cannot drink coffee, but these days I have been experimenting with high quality whole bean farmer's market coffee and then making it in the cleanest way possible and then only drinking it in very minute amounts and mixing it with almond milk. I had a lot of... Continue Reading →

REPRESSION AND EMOTIONS

I am always fascinated by how repression works because I know how it had worked within me. It is simply amazing how our bodies remember every single thing, but our conscious minds do not. All of us have stuff repressed. It is either fully repressed or partially repressed. We are not supposed to remember what... Continue Reading →

Reincarnation and Healing Trauma

A really good question someone might ask about reincarnation is "If we cannot heal our traumas in one lifetime, that means in another lifetime we have old pain to work through and then new pain to work through on top of that. That's too much and we'll never get the work done that way." I... Continue Reading →

The Highest Honesty

When we think of honesty sometimes, we might think of badass women telling people off, we think of people cursing, we might think of inflexibility, or overly rigid boundaries that oppress or victimize others. And while that might be a good start, I feel the deepest and realest form of honesty is vulnerability and talking... Continue Reading →

Condemnation is Common

We all condemn each other. The only difference between one person and another is whether they condemn overtly, covertly, quietly or subconsciously. Anyone who has any trauma in their background is going to attract people into their lives to trigger them enough to go back and heal their original wounds. Anyone who has trauma (repressed... Continue Reading →

Are your choices your own?

​We might not be experiencing REAL consistent choices until we begin the healing process and start deprogramming. Until then, choice or free will is illusory. Many of our decisions we think we are freely making, our thought processes and patterns, might be really old dusty running programs in our head. We don't have consciousness until... Continue Reading →

Premature Forgiveness

​We might unconsciously forgive our perpetrators prematurely because this way, we don't need to feel the deepest parts of our pain. Premature cognitive forgiveness, like false positivity and false gratefulness, work as a form of dissociation since the survivor might not be ready to or want to go deeper right now. If people were more... Continue Reading →

HUMBLE PIE

HUMBLE PIE You know you're staring to get real when you realize how fake you are. You know you are genuinely healing when you realize that you have a long way to go. You know you're becoming self-aware when you realize that you don't understand all of yourself yet and why you behave and think... Continue Reading →

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