Why getting triggered is a GOOD thing: On healing the past…..
If we have any unresolved issues from childhood, our emotions can cloud our reasoning and can have a huge impact on how we opinie politically, philosophically and religiously. Post-traumatic stress can do weird things with our minds. If we had conservative parents, for example, that caused us trauma, we might wind up at one extreme of conservatism or the other extreme of liberalism. Those with Stockholm Syndrome may believe whatever their parents believe whether they agree with the ideology or not. Blind imitation is done out of fear; it’s how we bond with our perpetrators to survive the abuse.
Traumatized people go for extremes, typically, to one end or the other. The traumatized person does not have any control and is only trying to cope with their childhood, even now as an adult, with the trauma. We are still trying to gain our power back. The child who was abused by a fat parent may grow up hating fat people not realizing that they are really rebelling against their parents violations. Since we’re conditioned to blindly honor our parents growing up, we can only confront them by taking it out on those who remind us of them. This is the victim’s way of confronting the parents who they are too scared to confront directly. We don’t recognize when we’re doing it since all these behaviors happen on an unconscious level. Same with religion. If we grew up with parents who were fundamentalists and abusive, as a way of having our voice against our parents, we may grow up hating religion and God or any association. We do this because we don’t feel safe yet to target the REAL perpetrator, so we take our rage out on those who remind us of our true violator(s). So we’ll hate certain religions and political parties as a conduit for our repressed rage, however, this is no way to heal. It’s rather acting out our buried emotions instead of dealing with them head-on. It keeps us in victimhood.
For those who have an aversion toward men and men’s issues, may have been sexually violated by a man as a child. Consequently, these people may also have a different kind of aversion, to weak women, due to their mother not protecting them while they were being sexually abused. I have noticed that men and women generally become attached to women with strong facades and have an acute aversion to weak women because their number one feminine role model growing up (mother) betrayed them and looked the other way while they were being sexually violated. The other way around is also true. Men sexually abused by women will grow up similarly. Much of third-wave politicized feminism is fueled by unhealed and repressed early childhood sexual trauma. If we have an aversion to the human body, our own bodies, the same story. Heal the abuse and you heal your triggers.
Post traumatic stress can even cause racist feelings. Who violently attacked you? Were they male, female, white, black, brown, yellow, fat, skinny, bald, hairy, religious, atheist, dirty, clean… What was their personality like? Whoever may have attacked you, similar people in the future may retraumatize you and you might have an aversion toward them since you never did confront the actual perpetrator. Either that, or you will be obsessed by them. Again, unhealed trauma is all about extremes.
So much of the way we secretly feel about people, the human body, our own body, and life come from repressed past trauma. And again, instead of confronting the true attacker, our soul might attract similar people as adults and become their victims as a means to re-traumatize in order to heal. We unconsciously and righteously make attempts to relive our past repeatedly until we are at some point forced to confront it. But before that, re-victimizing ourselves going the perpetrator-by-proxy route is the way into getting there. Our soul so desperately craves to heal which is why we behave as we do. And once we examine our own behavior and see what we are doing can we ever begin to heal and move forward.
Take responsibility for your triggers.
So many of us have become desensitized from our past and often mistaken that for having been healed when in reality, we aren’t healed; we are being protected from our memories. We can only heal in steps. Sometimes it takes months, years, decades and even lifetimes. There is no rush. But feeling desensitized from our trauma is not the same as healing. We are rather getting a well-deserved break from it all. Our body can only do so much at a time.
You know if you have healed by having the courage to notice your triggers, take responsibility for them and link them to your past. Triggers are a gift as they exist as catalysts to heal. Any and all triggers all go back to an unhealed part of the self. Everytime we are triggered, we have a golden opportunity to look at ourselves. Quite often, other people mirror the shadow aspect of ourselves. These mirrors open the doors for healing to begin. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” — Carl Jung
Once we begin healing, it’s so funny how our political and religious views may begin to evolve as we stop attracting clones of our perpetrators into our present life and we quit acting out our shame and our rage. And our perspective of our external world might continue evolving for lifetimes ahead as the fog from our eyes clears with the healing of past traumas.
This is why healing and facing our past is so important. It takes us from the disempowered victim role to a place of conscious empowered liberation.