How can we expect to have a partner or a spouse in a relationship that works when we can’t even be ourselves around that person? Do we really want to have a partner that doesn’t think we are good enough as we are? If we have to modify our face, our hair, our clothes, our jewelry, our accessories, our scent, our nails, our genitals, our ears by putting holes in them, our career, our personality, our diet, or have painful surgeries or procedures, or modify our lifestyle so that we can be loved, is it really love?
Is that how love works?
I think this is why the friendship between my husband and I works so well. The love we have with one another goes beyond the shallow. We can have real conversations with real depth. We can talk for hours with one another and not get bored. It’s about enjoying each other’s company. It’s about wanting to know each other on a deep level. It’s about supporting, validating and being there for one another. It’s about real intimacy and connection. It’s a bond between the souls. My husband is literally my other half. We are One. He and I DO have our problems and our fights and we both annoy one another from time to time, but our petty differences have made us stronger as a couple. It’s really about what we prioritize. And what matters is the friendship. Everything else is immaterial.
I really enjoyed George Carlin’s commentary on love with strings attached and how we we sacrifice ourselves just to please men that don’t even like us. To be fair, though, lots of demands on put on men as well.