Why telling others to focus on the positive might be a negative thing to do: If we are sincere about our quest to be positive and want to set the best example of positivity to others, we will accept people as they are. The idea that others are wrong the way they are is not positivity. Acceptance means not asking others to be a certain way for us. The most selfless, positive gift you can ever give a person is the gift of allowing them to be unhappy. We can choose not to spend time with certain people, but we don’t have to tell them who to be if we are sincerely positive people.
If someone is focused or stuck in negativity, maybe they need to be there for a while for their own growth on their journey. Trust there is a reason why they are in that dark hole. Trust, if they had a choice, they would not be there. We cannot know another’s path. It is their path and there is a good reason they are stuck. Usually people get stuck because the outside world is not trauma-informed and do not know how to hold space and connect with others. We live in a world lacking compassion and community spirit.
If “negativity” bothers us, it very well may be that negative person is reflecting back to us the pent-up rage and stagnant negative energy that is inside we had disowned long ago. Either that or it reminds us of a parent that could not be a parent because they were always in agony. So many of us had to take care of our parents growing up and there is probably a lot of repressed resentment there, so being around negative people might bring on emotional flashbacks.
Being open to WHY people get stuck can give us a golden opportunity to explore ourselves, to ask the tough questions and be brutally honest to ourselves so that we may become more self-aware. And once we have faced ourselves and healed our own wounds, we may notice that external negativity can no longer interrupt our lives. To be positive means to fully own our own triggers.
The best thing we can do might be to love all parts of ourselves so that we may someday be able to love all parts of those people outside us. If we dislike our own inner-child, we are likely to dislike the inner-children in others. This is positivity in action.
“We cannot change anything unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses. I am the oppressor of the person I condemn, not his friend and fellow-sufferer. I do not in the least mean to say that we must never pass judgment in the case of persons whom we desire to help and improve. But if the doctor wishes to help a human being he must be able to accept him as he is. And he can do this in reality only when he has already seen and accepted himself as he is.”
~by Carl Jung (26 July 1875 – 6 June 1961)
from Modern Man in Search of a Soul, Psychotherapists or the Clergy
by Carl Gustav Jung, William Stanley Dell, Cary F. Baynes