THE SOUL’S JOURNEY

I have been the mother and the daughter. I have been the father and the son.
I have been the slave. I have been the master, the victim, the perpetrator.
I have been every species, been to every country and have spoken every tongue.
I have experienced every season and every climate.
I have died from heat exhaustion and from freezing to death.
I have danced to every tune.
I have been addicted to everything.
I have had “problem” children. I have been the “problem” child. I have even been “the perfect parent”, the “perfect wife” and the “perfect husband.” And have also been perfectly single many a times….
I have been the child. I have been the grandmother with all those great recipes. I have been the great grandfather and the funny aunt.
I have been the noisy neighbor, the jealous sister, the rebellious teen, and the brother that never gets to the point when he talks….
I have been boring, depressing, annoying, funny, violating, intense, invasive, entertaining, talkative, quiet, secretive, intoxicating, sedating, irritating, frustrating, sexy, deceiving, brutally honest, people-pleasing, loving, supportive, hateful, vengeful, loyal, grateful and forgiving…..
Yes, I have been the sociopath, the child molester, the child beater, the wife beater, the husband beater, the animal abuser.
I have been on every diet.
I have been in every position in authority you can imagine. I have abused my power and have used it to save and free people…
I have also been the helpless child, wife, husband and animal.
I have lived in many a prisons, self-created and otherwise…
I have lost children. Oh so many of them… some have even lost me.
I have run away from home.
I have been the squashed bug. I have been the sprayed bug. I have been the stepped on flower…
I have also been the squasher, the sprayer and the stepper….
I have laughed until I cried, I have felt bliss, joy, deep intimate love and connection, I have experienced freedom and wonder and curiosity.
I have have cried with my whole body into a state of euphoria. I have shaken like a leaf in terror.
I have felt anger, rage, helplessness, hopelessness, anger, resentment, revenge, numbness, denial, stockholm syndrome, frustration, impatience, sadness, regret, shame, humiliation, guilt, shock and have held on to grudges.
I have had every disease and every ailment, physically, mentally, sexually, psychologically and spiritually….
I have been abused physically, mentally, sexually and spiritually, but have felt the best physical, mental, sexual and spiritual pleasure that you could ever imagine.
I have felt every pain and have felt every pleasure.
I have been fat. I have been skinny. I have been in between.
I have made myself sick and I have made myself recover in health too.
I have been muscular. I have been scrawny.
I have been famous. I have been invisible.
I have been rich. I have been poor.
I have lived in a mansion. I have also slept under a bridge….
I abused alcohol, food, sex, drugs, people and have even killed myself on occasion. I have also resqued myself just as many times.
I have lost loved ones and some to suicide.
I know what it feels like to lose a mother at birth and spent a whole lifetime looking for her….. I have also given my babies away…..
I have taken power away from others. I have taken power away from myself.
I discriminated. I was discriminated. I hired. I fired.
I have been every color of the rainbow.
I have been shot, tortured in every way imaginable. I have also shot and tortured others.
I had been tricked into believing a lot of things that were not true and have also been the tricker, the con-artist, the master manipulator, the used car salesmen with a flashy suit.
I have been male, female, transgender, binary, nonbinary, homosexual, heterosexual, asexual, polyamorous, intersex,….I have been that annoying prude. I have also sold my body.
I have died so many times even in a fire.
I have been the atheist; I have been the believer. I have been the knower too.
I have practiced every religion and believed in every God, have read and even written some of the books.
I have hated and have been hated.
I have loved and have been loved.

 

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