Some say happiness is a choice. I think, if it really were, why would I want to choose it? The most growth, love and joy I’ve ever experienced has not come from “happiness” but from hardship and uncomfortable situations. Happiness is born naturally from the struggles and challenges I experience in life. I hope to be challenged more so that I can become even happier.
It’s not like I consciously choose happiness or misery every morning I wake up. Of course I’d rather my life be easy, but the better part of me prefers a challenge. Think of Life as a video game. Do we want the easy level and be bored to death never learning anything new? Or do we want some challenge and become better by them making life richer, more meaningful? My soul wisely chooses those situations I know will help me learn more about who I really am. That means making what might appear to be stupid mistakes often. And I DO make stupid mistakes OFTEN. But these situations help me learn more about myself. And, for me, there’s nothing better than ‘that place’. Remembering who I really am is better than happiness.
The unpleasantness of life is what you make it to be. I don’t find negative situations to be negative. I don’t find negative emotions to be negative. I see them as positive in spite of how painful they can be. If someone hurts me and I feel hurt, I won’t interrupt it. I will allow myself to feel it. It’s this pain that makes me stronger, more compassionate, and wiser. If I suppress the pain, I learn nothing. I am stagnant and remain a child. I am faced with these choices often. Sometimes I choose to detach and be stagnant and sometimes I choose to allow and move forward.
If we change the way we see challenges and emotions, it might become a bit easier to move through them and the chosen difficulties of life. Nothing is here that isn’t meant to be here. We have feelers for a reason.
Situations only have the meaning WE give it. And our progress might be contingent upon this decision.
“Some people need to create a nightmare far worse
than the one they came from before they will go back
and heal their early wounds. We see this in trauma
survivors all the time. They pile hell upon hell, until
they have only two choices—die, or heal the wounds
they are fleeing. I used to find this confusing, but I
no longer do. Sometimes the first hell was so bloody
bad that it takes a far worse hell to uncover it. Bows
to those who choose to heal their hells, after so many
years on the run. Bows to those courageous beings
who give reality a try before they have any evidence
that it will serve them. If this isn’t courage, I don’t
know what is.” –JEFF BROWN