Dusting off the Old Resting Bitch Face

The phenomenon of the resting bitch face explained from my lens: 

I had people call out my resting bitch face all my life. If I am not smiling, there it is.

Are you sad?
Why are you angry?
What’s wrong, Karen?

Right? Don’t we hear this a lot? I started looking at my own RBF (resting bitch face) in the mirror. Then I had realized that the sadness in my eyes were real. The anger was indeed there, buried, but there. I didn’t feel sadness or anger, but I knew another part of me did.

I had discovered that my RBF is mirroring my shadow (subconscious mind). Our shadow holds the dark side of ourselves, our unexpressed emotions, the pain we hold on to… all that we are ashamed of; it’s all there not just from this lifetime, but perhaps even past lifetimes. There are all kinds of psychics out there and did you know some read faces? While I am no professional, I can read select faces as well as my own if I’m not under any kind of pressure. Generally, I can tell what some people have been through just by looking at their faces even outside the RBF. Because I can see myself, I can see others.

This is one of the many reasons our world smiles so much. When people see our hidden emotions and buried pain, we might feel exposed or violated. I don’t know about you, but for me that is a very uncomfortable feeling. Also, this world has no time for an unhappy face, right? So, we cover it up with artificial smiles. We have to if we want to keep our most vulnerable aspects of self hidden to strangers.

The reason why some of us think the RBF is random or has no deep meaning is because if we were to remember that we have repressed pain there, we might not be able to handle it; we’re not ready to look at it yet; we’re here for other reasons. So in order to keep our pain buried, we might make up reasons that distract from the real reasons it’s there. Our RBF might also be why we wear sunglasses when we don’t need to. Our eyes are the windows to our hidden parts. Nobody wants to feel exposed or known that deeply by those who could potentially harm us or exploit our most vulnerable facets. Hell, we hide ourselves from ourselves.

“I had a happy childhood, though.”

I think our pain is revealed by not only our faces, but how we behave in our present day lives. I can usually tell vaguely what others have been through by just watching their behavioral patterns, their fears and phobias, their illnesses, their beliefs, and their habits or personality quirks. Our actions, words and behaviors reveal so much. Unless we are here to heal, we cannot know what happened in our pasts due to repression. When we are traumatized as kids, in order to survive the trauma, we might have split off from ourselves leaving the child-self holding on to all the pain. The inner-child/unconscious mind, the body and the soul stores all the memories while the conscious mind, generally, chooses to bypass the memories temporarily so that we can function in our lives. Even some of us who remember traumatic incidents might not fully remember the most horrific aspects of the abuse. This is, pretty much, how we are all designed to work. You wouldn’t be here without repression. It’s what literally saved our lives. It’s a GOOD thing to be grateful for.

I did not find out the most gnarly parts of my past until I was 45 years old. That’s the age all my memories surfaced and all my flashbacks started happening. I had always known what happened, but I didn’t have the tools to handle it back then. At age 45, my soul knew I was ready for it. That’s when I began the most important part of my healing journey. Memories began surfacing so I could express and begin releasing the emotions attached to them so that I could put those events behind me. My body also was in a good enough shape to carry the burden of release as well.

Most of us think we’ve had a happy childhood; it could be part of our repressive mechanisms: Denial. When our souls think we have the physical and mental strength to handle our unresolved wounds, when we have the support in place and the time available, our memories will reveal the truth so we can begin to heal those old wounds. This all depends on what we have chosen to do in this particular lifetime. We are all here for different reasons and a lot of the time, it isn’t to heal. And it’s not all that simple either. Sometimes our memories reveal themselves and we stop functioning, don’t have the support and wind up having a nervous breakdown that shatters our lives. I don’t know why that happens, (maybe others need to experience other people’s meltdowns for the sake of our own growth) but I am sure our souls have a good reason for us to experience having massive breakdowns and not all of us survive them.

Our RBF (resting bitch faces) among several other hints that are apparent in our daily lives give us clues to who we are on the deepest levels and eventually this might inspire us in the future to release it all so that we can learn who we REALLY are. When we heal fully, I don’t believe there will be anymore “resting bitch face”. There will be no parts of self to hide anymore.

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