To Be Human is to be OK with Needing Validation

There is nothing wrong with wanting validation. Yet we walk around pretending we don’t need it. For God sakes, you’re human! Your heart breaks sometimes. You want to be loved. But we have repressed this so deeply. Since the day we were born, we wanted validation. The courageous can admit it to themselves. I find it endearing to see adults show humanness without apology. This is what it means to be vulnerable and vulnerability is true strength.

When I was in first grade, I used to walk up to my classmates and ask them to be my friend. I was made fun of for it. I used to sing to my friends and was made fun of for that too. Eventually I was bullied as they deemed me “weak”. Later I started fighting back with my fists. I became a violent person. Eventually, I learned to suppress this need for friendship and later on life guarded myself behind a huge self-made wall. I learned the world was cruel. I pretended to not need people and not have feelings. Now, at 50, I realize I was only protecting myself from further hurt back then.

Children (in their beginning years prior to being conditioned) are so courageous, honest, innocent, human and feeling. We learn however to become shut down, guarded, scared, bitter, jealous, resentful and hardened. Children are born wild and experts at being human and then later in life, our spirits get broken by those who became hardened before us. I think the road to self-actualization means tearing down those walls and becoming that human child again. And one of the reasons children might be here is to remind us of what we we lost.

You’re here to be human. Why run from such a magical experience?

“To aspire to be superhuman is a most discreditable admission that you lack the guts, the wit, the moderating judgment to be successfully and consummately human”. –Aldous Huxley

 

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