How Awareness of the Negative Helps Us Make Better Choices and Live Well

Our culture is obsessed with avoiding the Dark and truth seekers are often thought of as dwelling on the negative, however, there is good reason why it’s important to know some things that are less than pleasant….

There are some negative things I had to learn in order for me to live a positive life. It is not pleasant to learn some things about our world, but once we are awake, we can make informed decisions so we are empowered and have control over our lives we wouldn’t have had if we were living with blinders on. My life has been saved time and time again from generous people who put themselves out there to encourage others to research, think and question and act accordingly by making different choices.

I had been chronically ill from roughly 2002-2014. I didn’t know why I was sick. I didn’t know my choices were slowly killing me. I didn’t know I had been responsible and ..oh…how creative I was in what I chose to blame. I was a victim. I was losing hope and a part of me was waiting to die. I was giving up but also desperate to be free, so I had to get my head out of the sand and start researching and reading and listening. This is not easy when you have a certain fairytale picture of the world in your head. Research can challenge our long-held belief systems and shatter them. This is hard…
We can think we know it all and it’s humbling to listen to others, but it’s that listening that took me from place to place, experience to experience that got me right where I am today.

And I still don’t know it all. And I’m still learning. The more I know, the more empowered I am. It’s not easy, though, as we are forced to put aside what we have learned about the world and embrace that there are some dishonest unkind people out there who play negative (but important) roles that affect our lives. The more you know, the fear and anxiety that hides behind idealism and denial become the empowerment and liberation that lives in a healthy conscious cynist. Healthy cynicism is consciousness.

It’s hard. But life should challenge us. That’s how we mature. We learn to handle that the world is not a fairytale and instead we grow and we change ourselves. The change is not for them to do, but for us.

Life is not easy, but we have control once we realize that we have choices. Years ago, I didn’t even know I had so many choices. Now, I know I do and I want to let others know they also might have choices. When you learn how much power you have over your life, suffering then becomes a choice.

I have learned through my own experience that the light cannot get into us unless we first face the dark. Light enters us when we know the dark without apology, without denial, without sugarcoating and by giving full expression to it with our emotions…. it’s in the expression of our emotions that causes it to lose its grip over us. When we deny, distract, ignore and suppress, we are still being controlled by the dark at the expense of our freedom, our health, our authenticity and power.

I don’t think we’ll face it all at once. We might go through this in stages and also heal in stages. It’s all good once you know it’s not personal. But it’s gonna hurt and it’s that hurt allowed to express itself through cathartic release that might free us eventually.

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