The God Complex on the Road to Awakening
I used to get stuck in the trap of “spiritual ego” or that dark place where I used to think I was better than others. I used to talk to my husband about this and it helped a lot. I knew it was a problem, but I was stuck there for a while….
The truth is, we are all fundamentally the same. We all want to be loved, understood, and accepted. We all dislike pain and suffering and do what we can to avoid it. We are all here to have experiences that fuel growth and self-knowledge. We are all just one big family — as hard as that is to grasp or embody, it’s the truth. This is what bonds us all as One.
But the ego often unconsciously feels separate from others and survives itself with illusions of grandeur to cope with the illusion of separation. We might not have any idea just how traumatic this illusion is. While we are all inherently connected and a part of each other, we come here to have a human experience of separation in order to remember our Oneness in the human form. We start to feel the trauma of separation at some point on our journeys and it is very painful. From an unhealed perspective, we might cope with the loneliness of separation by feeling greater than others. We are in so much pain that we have to make it someone else’s fault. The more parts of us that wake up, the more asleep other aspects of the ego become. Symptoms of this falling asleep includes feelings of superiority and inflated feelings of importance over the rest of the world. That’s how traumatic separationism is.
Knowledge of “truther” conspiracy theories can only take you so far on your journey. While it is hard to learn unpleasant truths about the world and while it is hard to deprogram and unlearn, our greatest challenge is learning to love ourselves. And we know whether we love ourselves by how we see “others”: others outside ourselves and “others” or fragmented aspects of ourselves on the inside.
The only thing that divides us are the different stages of awakening we are at and that is all. Younger immature souls? You were once there. And there are souls more mature than you who are looking down on you and thinking you’re just another food-eater.
Looking down on others, looking up to others…. Either way you go, you’re dehumanizing others or other aspects of yourself. All these divisory lines we create in the sandbox…. all that represents is how split we are on the inside — that once we integrate all parts of self and learn to love them all the same, the outside world will no longer need division or lines drawn.
Comparing ourselves to others isn’t a ‘woke thing’; it’s a sign we are still in a deep slumber.
Waking up is all about opening the heart — not so much the mind. The heart is what is missing. Your heart opens when you let it break. Anybody can learn; very few can love. And by love, I don’t mean not having boundaries. Not having boundaries comes from a place of self-loathing. By love I mean a deeper understanding and feelings of connectivity between one person and another. Love is source energy that will flow through us when we decide to love ourselves. Don’t worry about others yet. Love all parts of self first. The rest comes later.
Once the heart is found and acted upon, it is patently obvious that we are all One. No more need to look down on or up to others. The us vs them mentality is no more. Love is the highest truth and when you get to that place, there is no longer anything to ever feel superior about. It is actually quite a humbling experience.
“Do not think that enlightenment is going to make you special—it’s not. If you feel special in any way, then enlightenment has not occurred. I meet a lot of people who think they are enlightened and awake simply because they have had a very moving spiritual experience. They wear their enlightenment on their sleeve like a badge of honor. They sit among friends and talk about how awake they are while sipping coffee at a cafe.
The funny thing about enlightenment is that when it is authentic, there is no one to claim it. Enlightenment is very ordinary; it is nothing special. Rather than making you more special, it is going to make you less special. It plants you right in the center of a wonderful humility and innocence. Everyone else may or may not call you enlightened, but when you are enlightened the whole notion of enlightenment and someone who is enlightened is a big joke. I use the word enlightenment all the time—not to point you toward it but to point you beyond it. Do not get stuck in enlightenment.”