Your past is probably in your present. The unresolved wounds have followed you here. Childhood trauma causes us to split off from ourselves leaving us fragmented. The split is the unconscious part of your mind (inner child/shadow self) and the unconscious rules roughly 80’s of your mind, behavior, your emotions, thoughts and decisions. This means your past is ruling you; you’re just not aware of it since there is no integration or communication between the conscious and unconscious mind. And there is NO shame in that; we all operate the same.
“Without realizing it, I fought to keep my two worlds separated. Without ever knowing why, I made sure, whenever possible that nothing passed between the compartmentalization I had created between the day child and the night child.”
~Marilyn Van Derbur
The reason for this split is because as children, we are not in a safe enough environment to heal so the unconscious mind holds on to all the memories, programs, fears, and emotions. The conscious part (or the self that people see) appears to have moved on but is really dissociated and detached in order to survive. We operate from a limited state. Years and decades pass with the trauma still buried and forgotten, yet we are showing signs of post traumatic stress in a multitude of ways if we are cognizant. Most of what we say, do and how we interpret our external world is filtered through the child mind and filtered through the emotions and fears of the past, that is, until we FULLY heal.
I believe we are all living in our pasts. Very few are aware of this as very few of us are aware of ourselves and our unconscious mind(the shadow), especially. Healing is what integrates all parts of self and once we have given full expression to all of our emotions and have relived the trauma as part of the work of healing, only then can we live in the present all of the time. There is no quick fix, no magic buttons to press, and no skipping of steps. This is only applicable to those who are here in this lifetime to release. Not all of us are here to do this work in this lifetime.
There is a stigma revolved around people living in the past and all this, mostly spiritual, judgment keeps us from connecting. We are all suffering and in pain — this should be a unifying factor — not a dividing one. Let people to their own path and trust that they know what they are doing. It’s not easy to do that. We just want to take away people’s pain, but it ain’t gonna happen. They need to do the work on their own time and at their own pace.