You can be going through a hell of a time, feeling all sorts of emotions and cursing the world and STILL be grateful all at once. Just because someone is going through a rough patch, does not automatically mean they aren’t grateful for what they DO have.
Also, you cannot teach someone to be grateful. Life teaches us to be grateful through loss. The more loss we experience, the more grateful we might naturally become. This is about our relationship with our experiences.
People need to experience their losses and if we are telling them to feel grateful, we are denying them the experiences of loss and it is that experience of loss that actually cultivates gratefulness.
Just be where you are and allow others to be where they are. All roads lead to Home. And we all use different roads to get there.