Never own a disease?
Can you heal from disease using your mind?
I have tried the “never own a disease” thing as in not talking about it, not saying “my restless legs, but instead saying “the restless legs”. I had tried accepting it, ignoring it, denying it, talking to it nicely, asking it what it needed from me. I did the positive affirmations. I took all the advice from all kinds of people. The spiritual advice, the supplement advice, the physical advice, medical advice, pharmaceuticals…. you name it. I tried it all and I had been trying since 2008. I am a hard-working person when it comes to finding solutions to problems — for those that know me well. ..you know this.
I am here to report that the spiritual bypass method to healing did not work for me. It sounds romantic that we can use our minds or just ignore things that cause discomfort to heal fully and permanently, doesn’t it? It’s literally poetry. But it’s wishful thinking and actually a form of gaslighting and belittling other’s problems. But our pain-avoidance culture will lap it up because we like easy things. We love addressing the complex with shallow overly-simplistic platitudes that sound pretty.
Here’s the thing, though: The mind is not involved in the CAUSE so the mind cannot be involved in the solution — even if the mind can be used to DISSOCIATE from pain — it is not the same as HEALING permanently from it.
When I had learned (after my own experience) that the “don’t own your disease” thing was more spiritual poppycock and false for me, I started being honest again. I owned my restless legs. It was mine. I talked about it when relevant. Then I found Jillyjuice and it has helped a lot. I still have it. I know WHY I do. It is trauma-based. Sorry guys, but ya’ll cannot heal complex childhood trauma with the MIND. Nobody has ever healed from trauma by ignoring it or by using the mind. Trauma lives in the body. This is why body-centered therapy works to heal trauma — permanently. When I surrender my body and allow it to do what it wants to do when I am having a flare up of restless legs, I find that my body begins to re-live the trauma and it gets better. This is how to heal. That’s how it’s done ….for those who are serious about truly healing in the deepest ways.
“Perspective shifting (a mental process) to shift our experience (an emoto-somatic process) is cognitive bypassing. A band-aid that keeps falling off”. ~Anonymous
When we think of physical ailments, we need to find what caused them in the first place and address that. There is often going to be a physical and trauma-based cause. They work together. You can try to trick your mind until the cows come home, but unless you get some absorbable nutrition in your body that knocks out all the heavy metals, parasites and contaminants and unless you feel the emotions associated with the trauma, the ailment will pop up in another way. You might dissociate and feel better for a while by tricking your mind as that is how dishonest self-talk and dissociative spiritual bypass measures work, but it should not last. The pain will come up in a different way next time. This is the pro-verbial dog-chasing-tail syndrome.
The reason why I think the “don’t own your disease” spiritual bypass method is even a thing is because compassion hurts. Compassion for others hurts like hell. When others acknowledge their problems out loud, we cannot handle it. In order to have compassion for another person, we have to have compassion for our own feelings and problems. So when others talk about their problems, we attempt to silence them because a part of us cannot handle our own unresolved stuff. To have compassion for another person, it involves feeling pain. And until we become strong enough to befriend and feel pain, we cannot hold space for others in a real way.
We talk about our pains because we feel alone. We only want validation, connection and understanding. But instead, we have to keep quiet about it and suffer in silence.
If you cannot handle people who acknowledge and discuss their struggles, if they irritate you, know that these are golden opportunities to learn about yourself. Nobody is doing harm to others or the world or even themselves by acknowledging their problems as their own. What is really doing the most harm in the world is not inertia or needing someone who cares…. The real problem we have in this world is the lack of compassion and empathy we have.
The solution? Heal your own wounds in a real honest way. Once you start your own process of deep healing, you will start to address the concerns of others from the heart. Compassion and holding real space for others will be effortless and you’ll no longer want to silence that which causes pain in YOU.
“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”
~Charles M. Blow