I am always fascinated by how repression works because I know how it had worked within me. It is simply amazing how our bodies remember every single thing, but our conscious minds do not. All of us have stuff repressed. It is either fully repressed or partially repressed. We are not supposed to remember what happened to us, by design. So many of us think if something as bad as sexual abuse, for example, happened to us, we would know. The truth is that we don’t. And by design, it must be that way. It is how the child in us survived. A child cannot handle being traumatized (ESPECIALLY sexual trauma). If it weren’t for repression (involuntary forgetting) and dissociation (involuntary splitting), we would all be dead. Repression is a tool we are given so we can function, maybe not in a healthy way, but it helps us get out of bed every morning until the day we die.
The deeper our memories are repressed or the more denial we carry, the more sure we are that we don’t have stuff repressed and the less likely we are able to handle deep emotions in others and in ourselves. This is how we keep repressed memories repressed. The reason why it is so hard for us to handle deep emotions be them from a third party or our own is simply because if we let it in all the way, repressed memories are highly likely to surface. Unconsciously, everyone who doesn’t know what happened to them is trying to keep the truth from being remembered consciously. There is a reason for this. Trust it.
When your soul knows you are ready for the big screen, you will come out of denial (in baby steps) and you will begin healing. For that to even happen, the most important thing you need is support. You body needs strength, nutrition, sleep, sunlight, lots of pure water and self-care. Without this in place, your memories might stay repressed and you’re healing journey delayed.
So many people become suicidal when their repressed sexual abuse emotions and memories are stirred. So you have to be REALLY STRONG to even start the healing journey. And sometimes we are NOT meant to tackle it all in one lifetime.
Trust the timing. Trust your readiness. Trust how this process works.