I see your energy and you see mine. And then we decide how to relate with one another.
It sometimes doesn’t matter what we think of ourselves or the language we use to describe ourselves, it’s our energy that tells the truth. Energy does not lie. Energy comes from the subconscious aspects of ourselves (the parts of ourselves we aren’t aware of). Since we might not be aware of our subconscious, we cannot be fully aware of ourselves and the energy we unconsciously project out into the world. People are reading your energy all the time.
I am sure you and I have both caught someone in a lie, right? Your intuition just KNEW they were behaving insincerely. You just KNOW when people are being fake. The better we are at reading other’s energy, the more we are able to spot discrepancies between the energy we are picking up and their words. Often, the lies we tell others are the same lies we tell ourselves. Well, they aren’t all intended lies. We just simply might not know who we are since we are unhealed. We think we know what we project, but we might not. We are likely to confuse the person we WANT to be with the energy that is present. You can smile, but others might see right though that and find your pain. You can say “yes”, but others hear “no”. You can say you’re happy, but others might see your anger. You can click “like” on a FB post, but intuitive people might see you don’t like the post and are just trying to be polite. You can convince yourself that you are empowered and strong, but sociopaths might pick up fear and weak boundaries and exploit you. You can say you’re thriving and people smell alcohol on your breath. You can say you’re done healing but others might pick up your unhealed traumatized parts. On a daily basis, we are projecting our subconscious parts and behaviors —- and all the while — responding to other’s subconscious parts because we are all reading and responding to each other’s ENERGY and ACTIONS.
The idea that we know ourselves —- and are sure of it —- could be a symptom of a LACK of self-awareness, ironically enough. True self-awareness, however, might not show up until we have fully healed all of our traumatized parts. You start to realize how unaware of yourself you are when you start to learn who you are, again, ironically. To know ourselves means to face what is behind the multiple masks (fragmented traumatized parts) we wear.
What Truths are hidden behind your masks?
When I talk about healing, I am talking about the grueling blood, sweat and tears — nose-to-the-grindstone somatic and emotional cathartic release healing that takes years and years. When you begin to express your calcified rage, grief, terror, shame, sadness etc… THAT is when you might start to really SEE through your mask and on to the depths of your shadow aspects buried inside your subconscious. That is when you start seeing why you behave as you do. You start seeing parts of yourself you have always been ashamed of. You start befriending and owning those parts — fully owning those parts. That is when you start understanding yourself. That is when you start understanding others (including abusive people). It’s when we start taking responsibility for our lives. It’s when choices become available to us. We start becoming TRULY trauma-informed. (Nobody can become trauma-informed unless they have begun expressing the suppressed aspects of themselves.) That is when we become more conscious and stop hiding behind a mask. That is when we really start creating HEALTHY boundaries. That is when the words we use are consistent with the energy we project. This is the beginning of authenticity. Authenticity is what I believe this journey is all about.