Facing the Outside to Heal the Inside (Updated!)

When you start waking up and deprogramming, if you think you’re not going to resent those who are still sleeping, think again. Resentment might be part of this. I think it might be inevitable due to the deep crushing isolating factor.

“Being free from the brainwashing does tend to be isolating to some degree, you know. Because you look at what’s going on and you say “Well, this is pure insanity, surely everybody understands this, and then you see that they don’t.” ~Alexander Bell.

“The more you know, the more you don’t understand the others. The more you understand something, the less patience you have with others.” –Dolores Cannon

George Orwell in 1984 also spoke of the loneliness right in the beginning of the book. The more we see through the bullshit and the mind-conditioning, the more we expect others to and that can make life really difficult sometimes. The realization you’re all alone and invalidated is traumatizing. Orwell reassured us, however, with the following quote: “Being in a minority, even in a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad.” –George Orwell, 1984

You may not be mad, but you may very well feel all alone, invalidated, unappreciated, unsupported and tribe-less. When I don’t feel the loneliness and the rage that comes with it, I become silently bitter and resentful of those who still live the lies, those who uncritically accept falsehoods and fear both the liberating and painful truths. I find myself with less and less patience with those who do not think critically and don’t discern information when they are receiving it. I am done with those who do not even question not just mainstream culture, but also the counter-culture. They are both two sides of the same coin. The information highway that is social media is wrought with deception in the form of memes and disinformation disguised as “news” and the gullible who buy into it. When I am aware of how lonely it feels, it causes a trauma response making me irrationally feel like the problem is ME — like I am doing something wrong. If I am all alone, I MUST be wrong! I disown that and then silently or sideways throw it into the laps of others. I project those wrong-feelings and hold people responsible for them so I don’t have to. I see this happening to so many people I know who have taken the red pill and is starting to face challenging truths that rock their world.

I was also equally disappointed when I saw people being harshly condemned on social media for still being programmed. Some people’s FB posts are filled with rage and contempt, bitterness and intolerance regarding the programmed. I get the rage because I feel it too every once in a while, but publicly insulting and humiliating others for being in a different place is mean and it’s also hard to watch. I understand that I used to be programmed too. I understand we grow in stages. I understand we will all get there. I know there is no shame and no sin in just being in a different stage in the awakening process. No need to outright tell people off about it.

There are so many emotions all around this process. And the challenge is on all of us to find a means to feel SAFE enough to access the rage, the wrongness, the loneliness, the crucifixion of being hated for acknowledging actual conspiracies…it’s literally bringing up childhood trauma for us to explore and express with our tears and screams.  Everything that is happening on the world stage right now is not separate at all from our childhood wounds. To become truly free, we need to face not just our own past, but the world outside us….which is, again, not separate from our past. You cannot ignore the darkness in the outside world and expect to heal the inner self.

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