Cathartic Healing: Realistic VS Unrealistic Expectations |What happens when you start to rise from the ashes…
Some might find I am on the healing path and expect me to be devoid of sin and expect me to be nice and sterile and squeaky clean since I am doing the cathartic self-work. Just the opposite is happening over here. I am definitely not nice. I make a consorted effort to treat others fairly in the best way I can, but I’m not nice. Proof that I see you as a good friend is that I will be honest to you. I will be more myself around you. I will show you my weaknesses. I will confess my flaws to you and introduce you to my shadow side. If I am fake-nice or perversely benevolent, it’s proof I don’t trust you and fear you. You should hope I am not trying to please you. And thank goodness for that I am no longer nice. I see this as an improvement because before I used to kiss people’s butt to get on their good side. My fake niceness is slowly being replaced with honesty and having healthy boundaries.
I am still human. I still make mistakes. I still make assumptions. I still hurt people. I still can’t handle loss and rejection. I still get angry. I still act out. I’m a hot mess much of the time. Wait until you start cathartically releasing all that shit inside you. When you get to a certain point, you change. You don’t ever see the world the same again. You don’t see people ever the same again. You don’t see yourself the same as you become more real and more human. You begin living in a new world and you will have to walk away from your old friends as you no longer relate. When you are healing, you are facing the truth of yourself, your past, and even the world outside of you. You will no longer need to run from pain. People won’t exhaust you anymore. You will no longer need to believe comforting disinformation on social media. You will be able to handle uncertainty. You will start to doubt. You will start to become curious and self-referencing. You will be able to handle other people’s anger and shame and other deep emotions. You will become able to take compliments and handle the love others have for you. You will be able to become intimate with others.
You are able to handle LIFE.
When you are healing, all your shit surfaces and things get worse before they get better.You definitely do not become holy! Maybe after you have FULLY recovered from your past traumas, you will be a kinder, warmer and more genuinely loving person for sure, but during the actual process of recovery, if people expect you to to walk on water, they truly do not understand this journey.