Concerning the inquiry of why people sexually abuse others, there have been many people who have dug deeply and have shared their views. Generously, Adrian Millane of Australia, opined on this topic today and gave me the permission to share it. I think this is important to read because if we don’t get to the bottom of why abusers abuse, the cycle will just keep continuing through generations. Marilyn Van Derbur, in a similar vein, wrote about this very topic in her book as well.
“I think this is absolutely one of the most vital questions that is not often enough asked.
I am absolutely convinced of one thing: not everyone who gets abused grows up to become an abuser, but every abuser is the result of at one time having been abused whether sexually or in other ways.
The problem is that the collective “we” are so angry and revolted by the actions against the innocent child that we do not spend enough time considering what it was that turned another innocent child, the paedophile, into this sick dark predatory inhuman monster.
Rage at the criminal makes us dismiss this inquiry for fear that it may in someway ameliorate the responsibility they have to take for the crime. But this is a defect in our understanding.
It is absolutely critical for us to learn and understand in depth the horrible background of every paedophile. Not with any sense of justification or reduction in responsibility. But there is a terrible lesson to be learned, which we should not need to learn, but of course we do.
We need to learn that every abuse inflicted on every child, sexual or otherwise, has long-term consequences that are costing all of us some terrible pain and suffering and loss of happiness and loss of life‘s opportunities. It is not drawing too long a bow to suggest that if Hitler and Mussolini and such people had happy balanced childhood we might Not have seen a Second World War. But that is a rather excessive proposition I guess.
If Reverend John Robert Thwaytes The catholic priest paedophile I have now exposed, had not been stripped naked and sexualise by nuns at the age of six, had not been anally raped from the age of 11 at stony Hurst college according to his diary, I am quite sure that he would not have recorded the monstrous sexual fantasies in the same diary mirroring exactly the things he suffered at the age of six, as he wrote in his 60s. He would not have been driven with obsessive fantasies of naked boys being whipped, as he was whipped.
He would not have taken sexual arousal from physical violence to children if he had not suffered sexual physical violence as a little boy. He would not have fantasised about a lesbian marriage in which he was powerless, if he had not been sexually abused by nuns.
His entire diary is a desperation to read, as he tries to rationalise his way through his sick psychology never openly admitting to himself his evil deeds, even describes himself as a Eunuch In one section before describing what gives him the greatest sexual arousal in another. This was a man of incredible intelligence who was at the same time deeply mentally disturbed and violently dangerous, and yet he carried a teddy bear and the children would never leave him alone they loved him so much.
But he was part of the generational cycle. He was sexualised and raped and whipped from the age of six, He sexually abuse boys for three or four decades in his orphanage, and many of those boys grew up to become paedophiles doing the same to the next generation, and in 2015 and English psychiatrist Eye witnessed a nine-year-old son of one of those victims, digitally abusing a four year old orphan in the same place.
Part of the sentence for every single identified paedophile should be years of psychoanalysis so that we can get to the depths in the heart of the monstrous histories that live in the psyche of these people. The more we understand the horrific impact of child abuse, especially child sexual abuse, especially male child sexual abuse which I believe produces countless monsters, then we can start to give far greater priority for the urgent need for absolute child protection.
We have a form of child protection in our culture in the western world but it’s not enough. In India there is no child protection.
Shiv Priy Alok has been working and I have now joined him as we seek to make a documentary examining the monstrous hidden truth but more than 3/4 of India‘s boys likely are sexually assaulted as children. This may account for a nearly 90% sexual abuse rate of children although the official figures are down in the 50s, and the estimated sexual abuse rate of boys In excess of 75% based on one sample, and the sexual abuse rate of girls and women over a lifetime estimated above 85% of the population. Perhaps if the abuse of children can stop, the crimes by the same children as adults might stop or at least become less.”