Adoption Trauma

Paul Sunderland Talks About Adoption and Addiction... If I could ask anything of the world, it would be to better understand trauma. Today, more specifically adoption trauma. Why are some of us so hyper-vigilant in relationships? Why do some adult adoptees push others away before their friends get a chance to? Why are some of... Continue Reading →

The Social Taboo of Need

In our social darwinistic dog-eat-dog-each-human-to-themself culture, needing help from family,  friends, and surprisingly even (sometimes) professionals is unacceptable and something to be ashamed of, generally speaking. Many of us have been brought up to believe it is sexy to be fiercely independent. A badass is someone who works hard and gets it all done by... Continue Reading →

The Healing Nature of Transference

Healing takes place in relationships where transference is allowed to exist. And I DO realize this is a very tall order! In an exclusively therapeutic context there is no such thing as too much transference.  In fact, rebellious attitudes about it could be counter-transference. Very few will likely admit it that is so. Transference is... Continue Reading →

The Messiness of Trauma Recovery

Very few tell the truth about what the healing phase looks like. When I was reading “Your Soul’s Gift” by Robert Schwartz, I came across the below passage and it made a lot of sense. What so many don't realize is just how messy the healing phase is. It is not pretty.  It is not... Continue Reading →

Ready To Face Reality

I just realized the other day that I value Truth over friendship. That is where I'm at now on my journey. Truth is the most important to me. Even the most painful difficult truths. I need truth in every aspect of my life. Truth, for me, is Life. I am ready to face reality at... Continue Reading →

Our FB Page for Incest Survivors

I created a Facebook page for Marilyn Van Derbur, a childhood incest survivor, motivational speaker and pioneer in breaking the silence around childhood sexual abuse who did not speak publicly about her abuse until 35 years later. Marilyn has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and... Continue Reading →

Absolute Truth

All those who believe that absolute truth does not exist, will imply that is absolute truth. And I just want to note the irony in that.

Why Passive Aggression Must Exist

Some of us are passive aggressive because as children, we lost our voice. There are very few parents who allow their children to confront them with questions, feelings or problems.....all wind up being filed under the infamous catch-all we call "back talk". If we talk back to our parents, the punishment can be devastating and... Continue Reading →

Why Adult Trauma Might Be So Unbearable

It's not so much adult trauma that shapes us. The traumas that shape our lives and rule us from the shadows come from repressed childhood trauma. The reason adult trauma might have such an impact might be because it's causing the forgotten childhood trauma up to the surface through emotional flashbacks. Anytime we have a... Continue Reading →

Questioning “The High Road”

Love your enemies Love people from a distance Forgive your enemies Why are we often asking each other to be false? We have this notion that being nice to people we don't like is the high road or a sign of maturity. If you genuinely feel this way toward your enemies and you're not deceiving... Continue Reading →

Spirituality | A Balancing Act

I think there is such thing as ungrounded spiritual beliefs as there is such thing as beliefs being too spiritually materialistic and overly logical. In a black and white all or nothing world, I think the truth is often in the middle. Maybe we cannot learn unless we explore both extremes and check out each... Continue Reading →

We Really Do Need Love

"For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that "unless you love yourself, no one else will love you." ...The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation." ~Bruce D. Perry, M.D.,... Continue Reading →

When Our Wounds are Too Hard to Bear

....or remember...... When we are being abused as children, if the abuse is severe enough, we might leave the body and temporarily go off into another dimension. This might help us survive the abuse so that we can function in the world afterward. Our coping strategies serve us as children, but as adults these dissociative... Continue Reading →

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