What Intensity Might Really Imply?

I think intensity really means emotion and trauma. Very few people can handle deep emotions and traumatic material from others and this can cause great anxiety that we call "intense". We blame others, but it's really our own stuff, our own deeply repressed material, our anxiety. Because that is what "intense" really means when we... Continue Reading →

REAL FORCE VS PERCEIVED FORCE

We might think others are forcing their opinions down our throats or imposing their will on us. It's a common complaint especially on social media. But can people really force an opinion on others? Can people force us to go against our will? Even as adults? Nobody can force an opinion. Voicing an opinion isn't... Continue Reading →

Remembering is Healing

Nobody ever forgets what happened to them as every traumatic event is stored and remembered by the body and subconscious mind --- especially in the case of preverbal wounds.  We remember everything, but for now, for some of us, those memories are blocked from our conscious mind until we can get all parts of self... Continue Reading →

Astrology and Addressing the Skeptics

I can appreciate all the skepticism with regard to astrology. After all, we have been conditioned to believe it is either a pseudoscience or that we are our sun signs or we have been taught the tropical/placidus western model. When it comes to Astrology, misinformation is common. We have too many astrology enthusiasts and astrologers... Continue Reading →

Adoption Trauma

Paul Sunderland Talks About Adoption and Addiction... If I could ask anything of the world, it would be to better understand trauma. Today, more specifically adoption trauma. Why are some of us so hyper-vigilant in relationships? Why do some adult adoptees push others away before their friends get a chance to? Why are some of... Continue Reading →

The Social Taboo of Need

In our social darwinistic dog-eat-dog-each-human-to-themself culture, needing help from family,  friends, and surprisingly even (sometimes) professionals is unacceptable and something to be ashamed of, generally speaking. Many of us have been brought up to believe it is sexy to be fiercely independent. A badass is someone who works hard and gets it all done by... Continue Reading →

Why Passive Aggression Must Exist

Some of us are passive aggressive because as children, we lost our voice. There are very few parents who allow their children to confront them with questions, feelings or problems.....all wind up being filed under the infamous catch-all we call "back talk". If we talk back to our parents, the punishment can be devastating and... Continue Reading →

Why Adult Trauma Might Be So Unbearable

It's not so much adult trauma that shapes us. The traumas that shape our lives and rule us from the shadows come from repressed childhood trauma. The reason adult trauma might have such an impact might be because it's causing the forgotten childhood trauma up to the surface through emotional flashbacks. Anytime we have a... Continue Reading →

Questioning “The High Road”

Love your enemies Love people from a distance Forgive your enemies Why are we often asking each other to be false? We have this notion that being nice to people we don't like is the high road or a sign of maturity. If you genuinely feel this way toward your enemies and you're not deceiving... Continue Reading →

Spirituality | A Balancing Act

I think there is such thing as ungrounded spiritual beliefs as there is such thing as beliefs being too spiritually materialistic and overly logical. In a black and white all or nothing world, I think the truth is often in the middle. Maybe we cannot learn unless we explore both extremes and check out each... Continue Reading →

We Really Do Need Love

"For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that "unless you love yourself, no one else will love you." ...The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation." ~Bruce D. Perry, M.D.,... Continue Reading →

Is It Bad to Wish Pain on Our Abusers?

I used to be concerned with being spiritual back in 2014 when I started dipping my feet into popular spirituality, but over the last few years, my main concern is centered on being authentic. That is going to include (expressed in a safe environment) all of my authentic violent blood-red rage, anger, shame, sadness, terror,... Continue Reading →

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