Replacing Mothership with Friendship

What if kindness, compassion, selflessness and love come authentically only after a process through trauma recovery? What if some forms of nice-ness are trauma responses often called "the fawn response" while kindness is a byproduct of healing? Are we being unrealistic when we ask others to be nice to us? Be nice. Be kind. Be... Continue Reading →

To Meditate or Not?

I came across an article written by an advocate of Dr. Arthur Janov on meditation that I found to be fair and brilliantly written. For psychology nerds and/or those on the healing path, I highly recommend this piece. You might be surprised with his take on meditation and feeling feelings.

No Such Thing as an Overreaction

Not if we truly understand trauma.... I admire Marilyn Van Derbur for talking about this in her book. Last summer was the worst I felt in years due to a trigger that put me into a tailspin. Someone I knew brought on an adoption-trauma emotional flashback and I haven't been the same since. There is... Continue Reading →

The Healing Nature of Transference

Healing takes place in relationships where transference is allowed to exist. And I DO realize this is a very tall order! In an exclusively therapeutic context there is no such thing as too much transference.  In fact, rebellious attitudes about it could be counter-transference. Very few will likely admit it that is so. Transference is... Continue Reading →

The Messiness of Trauma Recovery

Very few tell the truth about what the healing phase looks like. When I was reading “Your Soul’s Gift” by Robert Schwartz, I came across the below passage and it made a lot of sense. What so many don't realize is just how messy the healing phase is. It is not pretty.  It is not... Continue Reading →

Ready To Face Reality

I just realized the other day that I value Truth over friendship. That is where I'm at now on my journey. Truth is the most important to me. Even the most painful difficult truths. I need truth in every aspect of my life. Truth, for me, is Life. I am ready to face reality at... Continue Reading →

Our FB Page for Incest Survivors

I created a Facebook page for Marilyn Van Derbur, a childhood incest survivor, motivational speaker and pioneer in breaking the silence around childhood sexual abuse who did not speak publicly about her abuse until 35 years later. Marilyn has devoted much of her adult life to raising national awareness and understanding of sexual abuse and... Continue Reading →

REPRESSION AND EMOTIONS

I am always fascinated by how repression works because I know how it had worked within me. It is simply amazing how our bodies remember every single thing, but our conscious minds do not. All of us have stuff repressed. It is either fully repressed or partially repressed. We are not supposed to remember what... Continue Reading →

The Adult’s Need for Parental Guidance

People who unconsciously feel powerless in their own lives, might seek power and worship power outside themselves. They may love to obey and be agreeable to those they deem more authoritative than themselves and they may also seek to control those who they deem lesser an authority than themselves. This is one of many manifestations... Continue Reading →

TRIGGER NATION

Triggers could be reminding us to feel so we can heal. There are few accidents. We all come into each other's lives to help each other grow up. The healing process all begins with a trigger (if we let it). Triggers are gifts. Emotions act like the idiot light in your car. We can either... Continue Reading →

Taking Things Personally

I think taking things personally is useful if we have the intention to use our triggers as a catalyst for our healing journey. But if our intention is to not use them, then the below quote might helpful. "Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It... Continue Reading →

Are You Complaining about People Who Complain?

We complain about complainers; it's the most common complaint. But when you're really happy, high-vibing and feeling good about yourself, you won't mind people who complain. True happiness is not about resistance; it's about acceptance. As a resistor of people and life myself, I see what it does to my mindspiritbody. Resisting the personality in... Continue Reading →

Why Might Emotions Be Taboo?

Someone online today had been wondering why emotions are so taboo in society and the following came to mind... My husband often complains about how radio stations and the establishment, in general, marginalize and/or make the emotional variety of classical and operatic musical compositions close to inaccessible. There are so many other examples like this.... Continue Reading →

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