How Knowing WHY Creates Compassion

You have to understand WHY people turn out the way they do in order to get to a point where you no longer condemn them. Condemnation is merely the result of not understanding the reason behind other's behavior. When we understand, we create a place for compassion to be born. When we understand, we can... Continue Reading →

Who is telling the truth vs who is not?

Over the years, I have developed my own measuring stick to see if someone might be genuine or not. I am more likely to give unpopular ordinary people a chance. The truth is offensive, inconvenient, unpopular, controversial, painful and what eventually liberates us. The more challenged you feel by the information, sometimes this might mean... Continue Reading →

Is Trauma Generational?

Trauma is generational in that we, with the use of our own Free Will, continue the cycle. That is the only 'generational' thing about it and it's not a "curse" either. If your mother was subjected to molestation in her youth, it is not your responsibility to heal it for her. She is responsible to... Continue Reading →

Everything is Really Real

There is so much emotional and spiritual stagnancy because our culture is all about invalidating our feelings as imaginary. And it's because of this, we have learned to invalidate ourselves. It's also how we avoid painful memories and emotions. When everything is imaginary, a story, an illusion, a projection and a dream, we remain unconsciously... Continue Reading →

On Gratefulness

You can be going through a hell of a time, feeling all sorts of emotions and cursing the world and STILL be grateful all at once. Just because someone is going through a rough patch, does not automatically mean they aren't grateful for what they DO have. Also, you cannot teach someone to be grateful.... Continue Reading →

Science VS Spirituality

Disclaimer: The word "God" is mentioned here. What I mean by God is source energy made of love that permeates all life.  There is no scientific measuring tool that we can use to prove anything exists outside our five lower senses so if you look at strict science, there is no basis for universal law,... Continue Reading →

What an Open Mind Might Be About

There is a closed mind which automatically rejects new information and has prejudices. When the mind is closed, so is the heart. Then there is the Open Mind. That doesn't mean automatic acceptance or approval of incoming information; it's just the state of being Open. An open mind is just Open. It's listening. It's not... Continue Reading →

Anger Needs to be Expressed

Our culture says that anger hurts you but we are only getting a half truth here. Anger only punishes you when you keep it inside and suppress it. When you, however, give it full expression in a safe place, once released, you might find that grief was underneath it. Then finally, we feel the grief... Continue Reading →

Validation is Key

If we sincerely want to see child abuse end and if we want to see better quality adults, it's starts in validating survivors' experiences and feelings as real. Validation, if sincere, helps people heal. A healed person is likely to become a productive member of society and very unlikely to create more victims.

Love IS Having Boundaries

I am seeing it makes a lot of people confused when I talk about how important it is to accept people for who they are and where they are -- to allow people to have their own world viewpoints, their own diet, their own opinions. People think it means to accept being abused and accept... Continue Reading →

Read for Intention

Try to read for intention instead of words. I promise you, the amount of times you misunderstand others will be reduced. We are all on different dimensions and define words so differently from one another. The word empathy, love, God, judgement, acceptance, evolution, science, awake, spirit, Christmas, ..... the list is wicked long. We all... Continue Reading →

Their Anxiety is Often Ours

Anxiety is an interesting one. If you interview people, I'd bet more than not will deny they ever feel it. We might not know we have a problem with it since the worst of it, like fear, is unconscious The way to find out if you have it is by noticing how you feel around... Continue Reading →

The Adult’s Need for Parental Guidance

People who unconsciously feel powerless in their own lives, might seek power and worship power outside themselves. They may love to obey and be agreeable to those they deem more authoritative than themselves and they may also seek to control those who they deem lesser an authority than themselves. This is one of many manifestations... Continue Reading →

Your Past Might Not Be in Your Past

Your past is probably in your present. The unresolved wounds have followed you here. Childhood trauma causes us to split off from ourselves leaving us fragmented. The split is the unconscious part of your mind (inner child/shadow self) and the unconscious rules roughly 80's of your mind, behavior, your emotions, thoughts and decisions. This means... Continue Reading →

The Purpose of Suffering

I intuit everything has a purpose for our growth. Doesn't mean you don't have to think it stinks; doesn't mean you shouldn't be have your feelings about it. Just means our own pain has meaning to make us better people. Having said that, while my inner child might be pissed off, the adult part of... Continue Reading →

Looking at Bullying More Deeply

Standing up to bullies requires you to have some level of confidence in yourself, some self-knowledge that you matter and you deserve better. This might be the difference between those who fight back and those who don't. Those who don't, on some level, might believe the bullies and probably feel they deserve it. Also if... Continue Reading →

The Unreliability of Personal Experience

I always say personal experience is our best way to truth. Throw dogma and orthodoxy to the wayside and only answer to yourself. Everything outside of you is usually just a racket and a barrel of monkeys. But even personal experience is tricky. It sounds romantic and easy, but to judge using personal experience as... Continue Reading →

On Self-Pity

Healing is very personal.  We think we know what is best for others. We don't. We can't. We can only know our own path. What may look wrong to one person might be very right for another. Sometimes it's time to suppress when things get overwhelming and sometimes it's time to face it. Let the... Continue Reading →

To All Incest and Molestation Survivors…

I created a Facebook page around a year and a half ago to celebrate the work of Marilyn Van Derbur Atler, a childhood incest survivor, motivational speaker and pioneer in breaking the silence around childhood sexual abuse who did not speak publicly about her abuse until 35 years later. Marilyn has devoted much of her adult... Continue Reading →

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